Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Shopping with Boys takes Guts

There is a reason why moms should not shop with their sons.  Sons are brutally honest, calling it like they see it with no hint of malice or guile.   Let me set the scene for you. 

Not So Young Suburban Mom (NSYSM) is strolling down the aisle in Target with her Oldest Son on a sunny midweek afternoon.  She attentively listens to him as he gives a detailed description of the toy he hopes to purchase before leaving the store.  

Wait.  What's this?  Out of the corner of her eye, NSYSM sees it.  A bold color blocked maxi dress in vivid shades of fuschia and tangerine.  It is sleek and chic.  Perfect for a day at the park with the boys or a night on the town with the Mister.  

As the store's sights and sounds fade away, NSYSM glides over to this great vision, pulls it off the rack, and asks Oldest Son, "Sweetie, don't you think this dress would like nice on Mom?" 

And then it happens.  

With a very serious scrunched up expression on his little caramel brown face, Oldest Son says, " Yes. But, don't you think it's a little too small?"

Did you hear the sound of my jaw hitting the floor?

I would like to be mad.  Yet, the truth is my son was really trying to be helpful.  He presented the facts.  Facts that I am in control of.  

It is true.  I have not done a good job of taking care of myself.  This is not the first time this moment has happened in my life.  Sometimes, this moment happens when I am alone in a store.  This scenario has actually played itself out in some type of way for the past 12 years.

I'm laughing, but I am very serious about what I am about to say. 

It is time for me to get my life back on track.  God can not get the glory out of my decision to live in a perpetual state of self-sabotage.

You can only make so many excuses.  You can only read so many books, watch so many podcasts, and subscribe to so many self-help blogs, before you finally have to decide that enough is enough and it is time to help yourself! 

So, you can find me over here in the Help Yourself Camp.  I have waved the white flag of surrender and told the Lord that I surrender all of this to Him.  I cannot do this by myself because I have tried.  There are some definite changes that need to occur in my life.  Some idols that need to be cast down.  Some stumbling blocks that need to be removed.  Unfortunately, even some relationships that may need to be restructured.

It has been awkward to put myself first when I have poured the past twelve years of my life into putting myself on the back burner. There have been growing pains for us all as I have worked on weaving these Life Change Challenges into the fabric of my life.  Yet, it is worth it, and through God's grace, I am growing, changing, stretching, and reproducing new life into dead spaces.  I feel like I have gone from being nonliving to living.  Where have I been all of my life? 

 So,  I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!  Romans 7:21-25

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