Saturday, August 25, 2012

Life Change Challenge

So here's the deal.  I am tired of knowing what I need to do to take my life to the next level and not doing it.  It's almost embarrassing because they really are just very basic things.  So, I'm making one small lifestyle change each week in order to become the type of wife, mother, and daughter of the King that I keep saying I want to be.

Here are the changes I've made so far:

Week 1:
I got the boys back on a sleep schedule so that I could get enough sleep.  They have always been on a great schedule, but I made a rookie mistake and allowed them to stay up late when family came to visit from Minnesota.  It has been unbelievably difficult to get them back on track.

If I didn't know better, I would say it was a conspiracy.  Seriously.  Every night, without fail, at least one of them will stay up in their beds until at least 11.  Yet, they still wake up at the crack of dawn.  Who does that? Children who are plotting against their parents for household domination.  That's who.

Week 2:
I trained the boys to stay in their rooms until I come get them in the mornings.  This means I am no longer risking personal bodily injury if I hear the two year old and four year old wandering around while I'm trying to take my shower.  I also spared myself from the (ahem!) creative breakfast concoctions my 9 year old likes to sneak down to the kitchen to prepare for me.  The boy gets very creative with cold foods.  See conspiracy theory above.  A dramatic decrease in stress levels is an added bonus. 
Now, I'm rolling into Week 3.
This week, I am focusing on going to bed no later than 10 and waking up no later than 6:30.  This is huge, because I have not made my personal sleep needs a priority in over nine years.   I am a third generation night owl and it has been very hard to switch over my sleep patterns with the increased responsibilities of motherhood.  How many of you know that little ones do not care if Mommy stayed up until 3:00 in the morning because she's convinced herself that she is most productive in the middle of the night? Yeah...I told myself that lie, too.  I believe that this one change is going to be the catalyst for effective change in the overall quality of my life.  It has to be! 

I want to get the basics down so that hopefully I can put those on autopilot and focus on the other more creative pursuits I would like to add on to my life. I have this really bad habit of jumping ahead of myself,  because routine becomes mundane and I just don't think boring is a good look for me.  However, mediocre womanhood  is not a good look either.  I didn't see that in the fall collections on the runways this season.

So, I'm hoping you will join me every Monday when I report on how I'm coming along and reveal my new life change.  Since I'm posting this weekend, I will wait until next Monday to post my next personal challenge.  If you would like, it would be helpful and encouraging to me if you joined me in this challenge by posting your own weekly challenges in the comments section or on my facebook page.  I can do this alone, but accountability is always nice.  So, who's in?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

So This is Love

Your birthday closes out our family's birthday season, yet your birth forever changed my life and the landscape of our family.  Two became one and then created another with the help of the Creator's hand.  Out of time and space came you and who I was ceased to be because I became Mother.  My world wobbled on its axis as love's geysers erupted, threatening  to overwhelm me.  For the first time, I understood how truly amazing God's love is.  I said to myself, "This is love."

I loved you so much, I didn't even think about my hair!

And I will die for that love.  Fight for that love.  I live for the love of you and your brothers.

This love I have for you has taught me much and God has used this mothering journey to mold and shape me into someone my younger self could not have ever fathomed.

You taught me how to fight.
I was a people pleaser before you.  Quick to let others tell me what to think, to conform, and fall in line.  Then, you came along and it was in fighting for you that I learned to fight for myself.  You entered this world with five little thumbs and required major reconstructive surgery on both hands at eight months old.

Surgery day.  Polydactyly and Syndactyly of thumbs

Your list of acronyms is daunting, but with God, I learned to scale walls and fight in the trenches to get the interventions you needed.  I learned to fight with Him, to realize that with God nothing is impossible.  Like Joshua, I have learned to ask the Lord to hold the sun still so that I could have more time to fight and gain victory.  Son, with God, no fight is impossible to win.

You've shown me what unconditional love is.
The early years of your life were stressful at best in our household as two young selfish kids learned how to die to self through the hard work of surrendering to God's desire for two to become one flesh.  It wasn't very cute, son. Nor was it conducive to nurturing your young tender heart. Son of my heart, Mommy is sorry.

Baby, my mothering has not been perfect.  Sometimes I yelled when I should have cuddled.  Sometimes I hid in my closet because while I rejoiced in that overwhelming love I had for you, I also feared it.  I feared being overwhelmed by my love for you.  Feared losing me in you.

My Son Number 1

Yet, I will never forget the night you turned to me on your twin bed, and in your little three year old voice, asked, "You my fwend, Mommy?"

In that moment, I could forgive myself for my imperfect parenting.  Yes, son.  I am your friend.  I thank you for showing me the power of your resilient love. 

You taught me how to release belly laughs from way down deep in my soul.   
I love your infectious laugh.  It defines and characterizes you in a way that nothing else can.  I was a broken girl who grew into an insecure young woman who shrank at the very thought of failure.  You've taught me to relax and  not take life so seriously.

My superhero

You are energy.  You are passion, in love with God's creation and with God Himself.  You laugh through life, son.  And the whole world can't help but laugh along in your presence.

Son Number 1, I could go on, but I border on being indulgent with the attention span of my readers.  You see, there's this rule that says posts should try to stay within 500 to 600 words.  But, son of my womb, know this.  My love for you reaches beyond words, beyond time, beyond worlds, and beyond space. 

Man Cub 1, Age 9

And I will die for that love.

Fight for that love.

I live for the love of you and your brothers.

Happy Birthday, Son Number 1.